Comments on: Re-Entry: Community http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/ Training and Mobilizing for the Great Commission Tue, 06 Jan 2009 10:53:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.1 By: godslittlegirl http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/#comment-49 godslittlegirl Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:38:44 +0000 http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/#comment-49 I haven't had to necessarily deal with real re-entry issues, but I kind of know what you're talking about TJ when you say that you're the one with the need but you can't seem to make yourself take that step to reach out and call or whatever. I often deal with the same thing when I'm home in Virginia for a couple of months in the summer. I'm there to visit and catch up with people, etc, but it just seems to much work or requires too much energy mentally. I have found that for myeslf the discouraging factor is that I know people will want to hear all about what I do and what life is like, and that's like trying to sum up my whole life in a half hour. I simply can't do that, and it's too overwhelming to think about so I avoid it. That causes me to put off the phone calls and that causes me to feel more isolated, and the cycle starts again. I've also found that very often it's difficult trying to reach out and build community when those around me don't really have a realistic understanding of what life has been like for me here and what it's like being back in the states for however long. And I find it difficult to verbalize that. More overwhelming-ness, more putting off of the phone calls. I don't really have a quick-fix answer to that problem, but I do sort of understand the issue a little bit. Maybe one idea is for you to organize activities like game nights or movie nights and announce them at the church or among your friends, etc. Perhaps something social and light-weight (not super deep) will help to make connections, get to know new people, broaden the horizons a little, and still provide opportunities to talk and share with others. That way you can start building new relationships as well as provide opportunities to deepen your current ones without it seeming so overwhelming. I haven’t had to necessarily deal with real re-entry issues, but I kind of know what you’re talking about TJ when you say that you’re the one with the need but you can’t seem to make yourself take that step to reach out and call or whatever. I often deal with the same thing when I’m home in Virginia for a couple of months in the summer. I’m there to visit and catch up with people, etc, but it just seems to much work or requires too much energy mentally. I have found that for myeslf the discouraging factor is that I know people will want to hear all about what I do and what life is like, and that’s like trying to sum up my whole life in a half hour. I simply can’t do that, and it’s too overwhelming to think about so I avoid it. That causes me to put off the phone calls and that causes me to feel more isolated, and the cycle starts again. I’ve also found that very often it’s difficult trying to reach out and build community when those around me don’t really have a realistic understanding of what life has been like for me here and what it’s like being back in the states for however long. And I find it difficult to verbalize that. More overwhelming-ness, more putting off of the phone calls.

I don’t really have a quick-fix answer to that problem, but I do sort of understand the issue a little bit. Maybe one idea is for you to organize activities like game nights or movie nights and announce them at the church or among your friends, etc. Perhaps something social and light-weight (not super deep) will help to make connections, get to know new people, broaden the horizons a little, and still provide opportunities to talk and share with others. That way you can start building new relationships as well as provide opportunities to deepen your current ones without it seeming so overwhelming.

]]> By: tjgause http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/#comment-11 tjgause Fri, 07 Dec 2007 23:22:59 +0000 http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/#comment-11 Recently, I was talking with a friend about the topic of creating “online community.” And being that she’s lived in the States her whole life, she filled me in on the rules & expectations of relationship supplements, which are - text messaging, MySpace, FaceBook, etc. She explained that they are not meant to take the place of face to face interaction, but they are intended to “fill in the gaps” so-to-speak. These relationship supplements are incredibly important when you’re living oversees since they are often your only interaction with someone. But now that I’m living in the States, if I only ever receive an online message without receiving a phone call or setting up a time to hang out, I tend to re-evaluate my friendship with that person. It seems that people aren’t used to my living so close by and therefore don’t think to call and include me. And although I understand this concept, it makes me feel abnormally insecure or causes me to re-evaluate my friendships. My problem-solving nature tells me I should take more initiative (duh) and make the contact. But, I’m having trouble calling people and I can’t figure out why. A good friend left me a phone message last week and it took me 4 days to call her back & I didn’t have a clue why. I still haven’t called a number of people that I haven’t seen since moving back and don’t have good reason…and some are beginning to feel a bit offended. Now, to be fair, the ball is not just in my court, but I am the one with the need for community and yet cannot get myself to create it with people that I know. Maybe I’m just in too much of a habit of emailing and MySpacing…. And for the record, I did join a small group at my church and have attended twice. Unfortunately, it seems that most people are there for actual Bible study & not to make new friends. I guess building close community takes time. Bummer. Recently, I was talking with a friend about the topic of creating “online community.” And being that she’s lived in the States her whole life, she filled me in on the rules & expectations of relationship supplements, which are - text messaging, MySpace, FaceBook, etc. She explained that they are not meant to take the place of face to face interaction, but they are intended to “fill in the gaps” so-to-speak. These relationship supplements are incredibly important when you’re living oversees since they are often your only interaction with someone. But now that I’m living in the States, if I only ever receive an online message without receiving a phone call or setting up a time to hang out, I tend to re-evaluate my friendship with that person. It seems that people aren’t used to my living so close by and therefore don’t think to call and include me. And although I understand this concept, it makes me feel abnormally insecure or causes me to re-evaluate my friendships.

My problem-solving nature tells me I should take more initiative (duh) and make the contact. But, I’m having trouble calling people and I can’t figure out why. A good friend left me a phone message last week and it took me 4 days to call her back & I didn’t have a clue why. I still haven’t called a number of people that I haven’t seen since moving back and don’t have good reason…and some are beginning to feel a bit offended. Now, to be fair, the ball is not just in my court, but I am the one with the need for community and yet cannot get myself to create it with people that I know. Maybe I’m just in too much of a habit of emailing and MySpacing….

And for the record, I did join a small group at my church and have attended twice. Unfortunately, it seems that most people are there for actual Bible study & not to make new friends. I guess building close community takes time. Bummer.

]]> By: jeremy http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/#comment-7 jeremy Fri, 16 Nov 2007 17:27:04 +0000 http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/#comment-7 These days it seems that not only are we having to face the reality of re-entry issues related to community, such as what you are talking about, but now we are faced with whether or not our definition of community needs to change. What I mean is, generationaly, community is quickly taking the form of online relationships, (MySpace, Facebook, Vineage, Ning, whatever) as opposed to face to face relationships. This isn't "bad" per se, but it is very different. In Puerto Viejo the "online" community isn't a reality, but here in the States, different story. So, now it's not only looking at establishing community through face to face, but possibly changing what we think community means. These days it seems that not only are we having to face the reality of re-entry issues related to community, such as what you are talking about, but now we are faced with whether or not our definition of community needs to change. What I mean is, generationaly, community is quickly taking the form of online relationships, (MySpace, Facebook, Vineage, Ning, whatever) as opposed to face to face relationships. This isn’t “bad” per se, but it is very different. In Puerto Viejo the “online” community isn’t a reality, but here in the States, different story. So, now it’s not only looking at establishing community through face to face, but possibly changing what we think community means.

]]> By: Tom Hackett http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/#comment-5 Tom Hackett Fri, 02 Nov 2007 18:18:15 +0000 http://amu1.vineage.com/discussions/re-entry-community/#comment-5 Great topic! From close community to suburbia...what a culture shock. I think your recent transition and the sensitivity to missing close community is something that is really important. Those who live in suburbia are longing for it but the dynamics of our culture here just are not conducive for it. We work a lot, live quite a distance away from one another, drive everywhere instead of walk and value our "personal space" instead of group activities. I would like to hear others analysis of our cultural dynamics and there affect on us as it relates to this topic. I am not saying community can not happen in our culture I am saying it really has to be worked at with people that have common values. I live in Ridgway, Colorado which is a lot like living in a small village like Cofradia, Helene or P.V.. The town is small. The people moved here to have a "community" lifestyle. We see each other a lot more than people who live in suburbia. Everyone kind of knows what is going on or can find out if they want to. I love it. There is a community vibe here with believers and unbelievers alike that makes life really "real" and "human". <strong>What can be done? </strong> 1. Find people with similar values and talk about it. 2. Join a "small group" at a local church. Find a club to join. Find a ministry to serve with. 3. Be proactive and create a community of like minded people. 4. Stay involved in PV via AMU and/or VineAge. One of the reasons social networking websites have taken off is because with the crazy life people have they can take a few minutes and connect with friends online without driving across town or across the world. I have run into some communities lately that are trying to live a "community" life together in the middle of an urban area and lifestyle. Here are a few links to check out: 1. The Movement (our new ministry in Alterntive Missions is a good example of this): http://themovement.vineage.com ... Start a movement community with your friends. 2. ReImagine: http://www.reimagine.org Example in San Francisco 3. Seven: http://www.reimagine.org/node/5 There are Christian Communities beginning everywhere who value community. Try a web search: Emerging Church or Missional Communities, etc. I am working on an idea for an article I am calling "The Metro-Spiritual Experience". I plan to talk about our culture and how we can experience Gods Kingdom in suburban and urban environments. I will keep checking back here for ideas on the article. Great topic!

From close community to suburbia…what a culture shock. I think your recent transition and the sensitivity to missing close community is something that is really important. Those who live in suburbia are longing for it but the dynamics of our culture here just are not conducive for it. We work a lot, live quite a distance away from one another, drive everywhere instead of walk and value our “personal space” instead of group activities. I would like to hear others analysis of our cultural dynamics and there affect on us as it relates to this topic. I am not saying community can not happen in our culture I am saying it really has to be worked at with people that have common values.

I live in Ridgway, Colorado which is a lot like living in a small village like Cofradia, Helene or P.V.. The town is small. The people moved here to have a “community” lifestyle. We see each other a lot more than people who live in suburbia. Everyone kind of knows what is going on or can find out if they want to. I love it. There is a community vibe here with believers and unbelievers alike that makes life really “real” and “human”.

What can be done?
1. Find people with similar values and talk about it.
2. Join a “small group” at a local church. Find a club to join. Find a ministry to serve with.
3. Be proactive and create a community of like minded people.
4. Stay involved in PV via AMU and/or VineAge.

One of the reasons social networking websites have taken off is because with the crazy life people have they can take a few minutes and connect with friends online without driving across town or across the world.

I have run into some communities lately that are trying to live a “community” life together in the middle of an urban area and lifestyle.

Here are a few links to check out:

1. The Movement (our new ministry in Alterntive Missions is a good example of this): http://themovement.vineage.com … Start a movement community with your friends.
2. ReImagine: http://www.reimagine.org Example in San Francisco
3. Seven: http://www.reimagine.org/node/5

There are Christian Communities beginning everywhere who value community. Try a web search: Emerging Church or Missional Communities, etc.

I am working on an idea for an article I am calling “The Metro-Spiritual Experience”. I plan to talk about our culture and how we can experience Gods Kingdom in suburban and urban environments. I will keep checking back here for ideas on the article.

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