Isn’t it true that the life of a missionary, though wonderful, can be tiring? Whether it’s after a big ministry event or in the culmination of everyday life, one feels the need to re-charge their soul.
I think we can all laugh and relate to the AMU student who said, “This will be my last quiet week until the second week of April. I feel like I should hurry and relax a bit until it all starts up again.”
It seems that we’re all keenly aware of the need for rest, but not always sure how to go about getting rest. Isn’t it true that the day you set aside as your day off, there is always some ministry need that arises? There will always be medical calls at 2:00am. There is always someone who needs to be discipled late into the night (or early in the morning). And there is always that feeling that “this is what I was called here to do.”
I’m so glad Jesus understood and modeled what rest in the midst of ministry looks like.
A close study of the gospels reveals the cycle that Jesus often followed (Luke 4:31 – 44; 6:12 and Mark 6:7-13; 30-32)…..
Prayer/Solitude → Community → Ministry → Prayer/Solitude
Jesus’ life was marked by balance and rhythm. Do I exhibit these rhythms in my life?
This time of solitude or rest looks different for everyone. Not one of us was created the same, which means that none of us are “re-charged” in the same way.
Last week, one of our AMU asked a question regarding rest:
“I am just curious, since I have never been to the other AM sites, what do the rest of you do for your “break away from everything” moments, more than just your free time, or do you even do that? I would love to hear some responses.”
So let’s talk. I know from experience that this question is relevant to each of us. Perhaps in sharing what you do to rest and re-charge your soul could spark creativity for a fellow AMU student.
In conversation, I’d love to hear:
- What do you do to “break away”?
- What tends to emerge in your life when you neglect to rest? What symptoms appear?
- What tends to emerge in your life when you are deeply connected to God, when your soul is healthy?
One AMU student responded: “I am quickly going to answer your question on what I do to “break away from everything.” What I do is pretty simple here in Seattle or when I am in Tepic. I grab my iPod and go for a super long walk (I average an hour-its good for losing weight too-ha!). I love listening to music, I love people watching, and I especially love the streets of Tepic, so, for me, those walks are priceless. It’s a time for my mind to think, to process, or to just drift and think about nothing. I love a crowd, don’t get me wrong, and I love socializing, but I know that I need those walks. Pretty simple huh? but it works for me.”
What works for you?
Living in Puerto Viejo, it was pretty easy to find remote places of solitude to break away to. A ten minute bike ride could get you to your very own beach, river or quiet jungle trail. But on the spectrum of extroversion & introversion, I fall somewhere near the middle - meaning that sometimes I feel rested by being alone and other times I feel re-charged by being around people.
When I first moved to PV, my soul felt constantly drained because although I had all the quiet and alone time in the world as a single girl, the extroverted side of me was very neglected. I remember feeling, at times, like a hermit and lacking motivation to do what I felt I was called there to do. It was tough to make new friends in a new country without speaking the language and without having anyone to help “bridge the gap.”
Anyway, over the years, I developed a new way to rest that has followed me home to California….Whether I’m with other people or not (or just my dog), I go on walks/hikes. I have to be in nature or else I feel suffocated. (This is one of the reasons I dread moving up near L.A….it’s tough to find hiking trails or natural beauty in the midst of the city.)
As far as neglecting to rest or take care of my soul, there are some specific tendencies that tend to emerge in my life. My teammates in PV could probably tell you what they are.
I get irritable and easily overwhelmed. Sometimes I experience “frustration tourrett’s”…you know, when you yell something out in frustration (usually behind closed doors so as not to embarrass myself). And I usually have trouble sleeping as my dreams are marked by the things that are currently stressing me out.
But when I take time to rest and when my soul is healthy, I usually feel more content in life; have a higher energy level; and feel more even-keel (like nothing can really rock my boat).
Here is my first thought…I want to comment on the benefit of resting or recharging. One of my favorite sermons is on “Winning” or what you need to “WIN” in life. The second letter in the message is “Inspiration”…the need to do what you like to do to be inspired. The scripture I use for this point is 2 Kings 3:15
“But now bring me a minstrel. And it came to pass, when the minstrel played, that the hand of the LORD came upon him.” Elisha enjoyed listening to music and when he had a chance to listen to some he took it. When the minstrel played “the hand of the Lord came upon him”. He was inspired through music. One of the questions that is being posed in this discussion is…What is your minstrel?
1.) What do I do to break away or what should I do? Both are valid questions. I do three things. One, we go to Canada and hang out with family and friends once a year. Sure part of it is “support team building,” but we also just stop and are receivers and not always givers for awhile. Two, I work out in a simple home gym 3 times a week and listen to preaching and teaching recordings for my personal benefit. I don’t count my repetitions and I don’t take notes; I listen and pray. Three, I fix something simple. I love to build or fix, but most stuff I have going never ends (i.e. maintaining a truck). However, there are many simple “improvements” I can do that have a simple beginning and end. Those things help me have the closure that helps me see the on-going tasks with more hope.
Finally, what I should do. Well I believe I should just stop more regularly to listen and reflect. I have always appreciated the times I have taken but too often feel obligated to “do” instead of “stop.”
2.) If I get too tired and warren down I tend to get a “messianic complex”; I think at act as if I am “it.” Yes, this is taxing for everyone around, including myself.
3.) However when I am busy or not yet in tune with God I see so clear and fresh that even problems bring me the joy of the Lord. It is as if I am watching a movie; I don’t really exist, only everything else. And yet somehow I have the remote in my hand and I have an affect.
hmmm…what is my minstrel? I guess for me it always varies. Just getting out of the office can many times be my minstrel. Watching a good film, or unwinding to some great music can be my minstrel. I love sunset drives in the winter/fall and just driving with the windows down, wind blowing, watching the sun fade away and listening to Paul Simon or some obscure acoustic set. It resets my brain. Reading a book I want to read can help.
Ultimately it’s the frequency of remembering to take these times that is so difficult. Life always happens in waves for me, (probably for many of us). Josh Horvath and I were standing in a Quiznos in downtown Phoenix getting ready to order sandwiches a few nights ago. We were alone in this restaurant and it seemed like life had taken a slow pace for the sandwich artists behind the counter. Then, from out of nowhere, a line began to form that stretched out the door. From calm to chaos in just seconds. It was amazing
That’s how life seems to happen for me. Calm to chaos…but the chaos seems to last for months on end. You better believe that when the calm comes around again, I make the most of it, but it always seems too little, too late. I need to return to a groove of calm within the chaos…like Jesus resting on the boat in the middle of the storm. How did He do that? How can I do that? How can I find rest while still being responsible to answer emails, return calls, edit videos, plan outreaches, balance accounts and planning/executing trip after trip after trip?
I read through this yesterday, but didn’t respond because I am so agitated with “light and momentary trials” right now that rest, though it sounds wonderful, seems unreachable. So I echo the questions Jeremy posed… How do I find rest while experiencing turmoil?
I think of Jesus’ invitation “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Mt. 11:28-29 So, I could take the spiritual tack on this subject, and say I just need to press in to Jesus more…
But practically speaking, I would love to divert my intense pace right now by sitting at Fernald Point (beautiful beach in Santa Barbara, CA) or walking the loop at the Lompoc Mission state park. Hmmm, what that tells me is I have to get out of my house and find equivalent restful places here in the desert southwest!
I like Tom’s example of Elisha’s minstrel and am reminded of other Biblical examples of rest. Consider God’s command to the Israelites to give even the land rest 1 out of every 7 years in order to ensure productive crops & to keep from overworking the land.
I learned something interesting at a missionary care conference I recently attended….that stress is cumulative, but rest is not.
Apparently studies show that our bodies (& souls) respond to stressors that build in our daily lives. A series of small stressful events (no water, bug bites, minor conflict with your spouse) can actually build in us to make us feel more stress. It’s the snowball effect.
Rest, on the other hand, is not cumulative. Unfortunately, our bodies aren’t rejuvenated by many small breaks we take in a day or week. God made us in such a way that we require chunks of rest (as opposed to tidbits). Dave’s example of taking a vacation or break while on furlough once a year is one way to proportion rest annually. But it seems that there must be a need to incorporate this type of rest into our weekly schedules. Perhaps this was God’s intent in commanding a Sabbath to be observed weekly.
I remember listening to a series by Archibald Heart called “Ministry and Stress.” He provided several medical examples of what taking off one day a week can do to improve your health. His strict orders were to do something completely different from what you do on a regular basis.
I remember feeling very limited to do anything out-of-the-ordinary while living in PV for many reasons (personal safety, lack of resources in PV, cultural boundaries). Finding the sort of rest Archibald Heart describes was a challenge.
Hummmm…..rest. Nice concept. Actually, to be honest, I am one of those people that thrive on staying busy and involved. I thrive on learning something new, doing something adventurous, or getting some 1:1 time with a friend. But I also love my runs alone, just me and Jesus talking and fellowshipping. We have a wonderful deck here on the top of the clinic building we call our “prayer deck”, it has an awesome view of the sea, almost always a great breeze to be had, and at night time the most breath-taking view of the stars that I think one would be hard pressed to find anywhere else.
My ‘minstrel’ would have to be music (usually Christian genre, but the mode within that will vary depending on my mood) or reading while resting in a hammock. Or both at the same time! Other times I may just like to go for a long walk onto the North side of the island and sit and watch the sea, or throw the bottle in the water for Toshiba. I love to see her total joy at this game she so loves, it reminds me to be more simple in my joys, and playful with my life.
If I don’t get enough real rest, the kind that rejuvenates your soul, I get snappy and short tempered, and then just like to hide in my room with my door closed. It doesn’t usually last very long, thank goodness, because I miss the family connection pretty quickly.
When I am feeling completely connected with God the whole world seems brighter, happier, and more beautiful. There is a passage in Isaiah 55 that describes these times for me: “For you will go out with joy, and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”
Ya know what I mean?
?????????
ja
My disclaimer: I am still wrestling with this issue in my own life and practice. So, I answer but these answers may change at any time..haha!
Rest….there are so many ways of understanding what that really means. I recently read an interesting article on Boundless about the difference between entertainment and recreation, and the difference had to do with the level to which one is being rejuvenated by the said activity or lack thereof: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001644.cfm.
When I’m overwhelmed, stressed, etc., my tendency is to check out. To do something that gives me a mental/emotional/spiritual break. I’m such a thinker and yet also very emotional that many times I HAVE to disconnect myself for a little bit in order to later return to the thoughts/issues/etc. at hand and be able to deal with them effectively. This comes in the form of some kind of mental escape: a Christian fiction novel that I’m reading; working on my cross-stitch (which is amazingly calming for me) while putting in a movie that I know so well I don’t have to pay attention to it (for background noise); going and visiting someone because I too am an extrovert, and the lack of sufficient social interaction can many times be the root cause for why I’m stressed, moody, or not handling things well.
Having a day off is also helpful, as TJ pointed out. Ours is on Mondays. I use this time to have mentor time with Sandy in the mornings in Arrayanes, which is actually very encouraging and uplifting for me more times than not. That is a ministry activity for me, but it’s also personal because she is also my friend and one of the closest I have here. Once we are done I just hang out in Arrayanes – no active ministry required! I know that if I go home, then I’ll have nothing to do, and work will creep in and make me anxious cuz I can’t accomplish anything without bugging others with work, which I don’t want to do on their day off. So, we just relax in the hammocks, or we play cards with the younger girls, or we go visiting, or sometimes we just walk around town talking.
Other times I just want to get away, and that’s where I run into problems. I have yet to find a way to ‘get away’ here in Cofradía. To disappear for a little while to a place that inspires me or allows me the space and time to meditate, pray, etc. So, I’m finding ways to create that, be it a fireplace video in my TV with my curtains drawn and my favorite throw blanket, candles, quiet worship music, and my Bible/journal, etc. Sometimes I go up on the balcony over the base kitchen because no one thinks to look up there, and I can disappear for a little while (Cofradía folks needs to immediately forget this statement please). But I find myself missing parks and trail summits, etc. I find myself asking the Lord to bring the atmosphere to me if I can’t go to it.
When I don’t get the rejuvenating that I need, be it mental distraction, physical rest (sleeping enough at night, etc.), social interaction, or spiritual get-away, I get very moody and react emotionally…far more so than I want to. I feel very off-kilter in many ways even if it doesn’t show in an outward way. When I’m connecting with the Lord and finding effective ways to rest and deal with stress effectively, I find I’m much calmer and much less reactionary. I’m also much more prayerful and much more receptive to seeing things the way the Lord sees them instead of how I see them. Interesting, eh?
Ok, so I’ve been made aware that the link I posted to the Boundless article did not work…which is very odd. Anyway, the article can be found by going to www.boundless.org and doing a search for “Play Time”. The article is called “Play Time” and it is by Alex Chediak. Hope that helps.
I think I am like Elisha here. My minstrel is listening to music. My mind can have a tendency to overheat with thoughts, but i have found, very gratefully that just listening to music and getting out for a walk gives me great peace.
It has been great reading these posts on ‘rest’. Even though we are not quite there yet (still preparing to get to Puerto Viejo), I can relate to the feeling of being emotional, moody, & overwhelmed when I’m not getting enough ‘rest’. I could especially relate to Diedre when you talked about thriving on “staying busy, learning something new & 1-on-1 time w/ a friend”. I have trouble slowing down long enough to rest. But then the rest of my family (& sometimes friends) are on the receiving end of my exhaustion & poor choices to neglect rest.
TJ, thinking back, if you could have done anything ‘out of th ordinary’ to rest in Puerto, any ideas of what it would be? Just curious since Lord willing, we’ll be there soon. I know you said you had a hard time coming up w/ something while there, but perhaps hindsight would help?
I am totally an extrovert and it rejuvinates me to be around others. My husband can a lot of times be the ‘friend’ I enjoy most (and living so far from town & being a homeschool mom of 3, he usually is the one I hang out with the most), but more times than not, I prefer to go have coffee with a girlfriend, or some times just sitting out on our back deck (which I’ll miss tremendously) in the sun, reading a good book or a magazine is very restful for me. Going for a long bike ride is also very helpful in restoring joy to my weary soul. I am certain though that the most refreshing times of rest for me are the times I ‘escape’ on my own & worship (sometimes on a bike ride, sometimes at the beach…one of my favorite places to be).
Spending an uninterrupted time in God’s word on our porch can also do the same for me.
Anyhow, thanks for all your posts. It’s so helpful to be able to relate to the way some of you feel when you don’t get rest & to remember that we’ll need to take times to rest once we get to Puerto, just as badly (if not more so) than we need it here. I really appreciate how “real” all of you are in these posts. Thanks for being genuine
Carol
Carol, in “hindsight” I would say that time & experience allowed me to find true rest in the midst of a normal schedule. There were seasons of calm where life was pretty routine, but for the most part, changes of scenery happened on a fairly regular basis. Over time, I learned to anticipate these changes of pace and plan something fun or restful in them.
One example was needing to leave the country every 3 months. That was something I knew I could always look forward to and would not think about work at all while I was gone (or at least would try). Another example was hosting teams. Even though traveling to San Jose and picking up teams was not a pleasure trip and became monotonous at times, I would try to catch a movie at the theater, eat food I couldn’t get in PV, shop at the mall, or just watch tv in my hotel room - things that couldn’t be done in Puerto Viejo. For me, doing something “different” was important.
Overall, I would say that during the calm seasons when life was routine, I learned to enjoy it. Even though I might only have the option of going to the beach, I would try to find a new beach to visit. I would also try to get more involved in town activities during these seasons. And when life was full of changes of scenery, I would do my best to add some fun into the responsibilities.
In a weekly post conversation, someone from our AM community was describing the stressful week/month they were experiencing. After describing some stressful situations, they made a comment that seems pertinent to this conversation regarding the need to “get away.”
“…Then there are the incessant kids. Love em to death. But not on the weekends. I literally have to escape Helene sometimes to say no or to get away.”
This idea of “getting away” seems really important to this conversation of finding rest. She goes on to say…
I think it depends on your situation. Ours in Helene is unique and remote and too close at times which propels us to need time away, especially if we haven’t been raised that close to people or among them (i.e. staff living conditions, full-time ministry). I definitely think “getting away” is important to maintaining your commitment to anything. I mean when you’re teaching students to write or read, you have moments to “walk away” from it and clear your head before jumping in again. Life is no different on or off the mission field. Sometimes just multiplied intensity. So I really feel balance is the key – trying to find where your balance is between doing and being, work and play, giving and receiving, socializing and getting personal time. If you can find that balance in your life on site great!! If you’re not, then you definitely need to get away to recharge. When I think about I kind of refer back to some of John Eldredge’s writings. Yes, I know he can be a little overemo, touchy feely but I totally buy into his premise in Waking the Dead about getting away, getting somewhere you can be still and know God, or just recharging. He uses nature/Creation as his way reconnecting with His Creator but I think it can mean different things to different people.
I’m told this post would be good for this discussion, so I’m putting it here as well. Here goes:
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I’m continuing to read in “How to Have a Mary Heart in a Martha World”. I just finished chapter 11 in which she talks about managing the teetter-totter of devotion and duty (intimacy and service/worship and work). At one point she discusses God’s mandate to observe a Sabbath rest. She points out that it is really a gift from the Lord, who knew that we would need time to “let our souls catch up with us” on a regular basis. She then goes on to share several factors that easily squeeze the rest out of our “Sabbath” but then follows that with three things she believes that Sabbath-keeping must involve:
1) it should be different, set apart: “It has to contrast noticeably with the other six days.”
2)it should be a day of devotion: “It’s meant to be spent in the Living Room. Kitchen duties can wait. This is a time to focus our minds and hearts on God alone.” (Living Room and Kitchen are used in the book to represent intimacy and service).
3)it should be at least partially a family day: “a time spent with our biological families, but also with the family of faith gathered for corporate worship and/or fellowship.”
She gives the example of one family who has set some guidelines for their family’s Sabbath observance. Aside for a commitment to attend church, they “don’t do laundry, clean house, go shopping, or cook elaborate meals. [They] take walks, read the Bible, visit friends, nap, or putter in the garden.”
She does address those who “work on Sundays” for the Lord — those in ministry, whether as part of a church service or in full-time ministry — and suggests that they find another time that they may set apart as their Sabbath-rest. Sine, I fall into this category, I found myself examining my sabbath.
Our staff has Mondays as a “day off”. I try to take advantage of that. I leave my home and go to Arrayanes where I have mentor time with Sandy and then hang out with her family or other friends in the town. Part of this is because I’ll get bored at home by myself and want to do something, which will lead to work on my day off. But if I work on my day off then I’ll also inevitably bug other staff on THEIR day off. So I appreciate the opportunity to get out on that day so as to not infringe on the “rest” of the rest of the staff. But even though that’s my “day off”, I find myself examining if it’s really a true Sabbath for me. In some ways, I’d say it is, but there are many other ways in which I have not taken care to guard a Sabbath rest.
All this got me to thinking about the rest of the AM staff and locations. Is this important (aside from the fact that it’s one of the 10 commandments)? What do you guys do for your “Sabbath”? Would you say that you have kept it holy, or is it only half a sabbath? Or maybe it’s gotten squeezed out completely. What does it look like? What are some things/commitments/disciplines that you have already put in place to set apart your Sabbath from the other six days as far as rest, devotion, and fellowship? What could change or be different? Are we doing enough to teach true Sabbath-keeping to those around us?